Domestic Violence in the Workplace

If you Are Concerned
 About your Co-Workers or Employees

Communicate - three simple things to say. . .

• I am afraid for your safety.
• I am afraid for the safety of your children.
• You don't deserve to be abused.

Educate yourself about domestic violence. . .

Inaccurate attitudes and beliefs about domestic violence may hinder your ability to help. Domestic violence is a complex issue.

Talk to a domestic violence advocate.

Let go of any expectations that there is a quick fix to domestic violence or to the obstacles she faces.

Understand that her "inaction" may well be her best safety strategy at any given time.

Challenge and change any inaccurate attitudes and belief that you may have about people in abusive relationships.

Respond in a supportive manner. . .

There are things you can do to be supportive to your co-worker or employee. People in abusive relationships aren't there because there's something wrong with them. Rather, they are people who have become trapped in relationships by their partners' use of violence and coercion. The better able you are to recognize and build on the resilience, courage, resourcefulness and decision-making abilities of a woman in this situation, the better able you will be able to help her.

As a manager, friend or co-worker, your willingness to help her can be important in her safety planning efforts. She is probably facing a lot of uncertainty and change in her life and probably feels quite fearful. Being willing and well-intentioned is good; being prepared to offer the kind of help she needs in this situation is even better.

Believe her.

Encourage, but don't pressure her to talk about the abuse.

Respect her need for confidentiality.

Listen to her. Support her feelings without judging her.

Let her know that she is not alone. Domestic assault happens to many women.

Reassure her that the abuse is not her fault. She is not to blame.

Give her clear messages that: she can't change her partner's behavior; apologies and promises will not end the violence; violence is never justifiable.

Her physical safety is the first priority. Discuss her options and help her make plans for her and her children's safety.

Give her the time she needs to make her own decisions.

If she is not ready to make major changes in her life, do not take away your support.

Give her a list of key community resources that support and work with battered women.

(Source: "Domestic Violence An AFSME Guide for Union Action". American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, 1995)