Teen Boys' Group

Mary, a Life Span client, called her counselor in despair. Her thirteen year old son, Billy, was a handful and his behavior was getting worse. As a young child, Billy would hide in his bedroom to avoid the rage his father often displayed toward Mary. Billy would cry as he heard his dad scream obscenities at his mom, at the sound of his slaps, at the sight of his mother's bruises. Even though his father was long gone from the home, Mary knew that Billy still struggled with the effects of the domestic violence he had witnessed. As he reached his teenage years, Billy began shouting and cursing at his mother, and even pushed her when he didn't get his way. Now, he was getting into fights at school. Mary needed help with Billy, and she didn't know where to turn.

Several of Life Span's battered women clients approached their counselors with the same troubling scenario. Their teen sons' had problems at home and at school. These boys, usually ages 10-15, would physically fight with peers and siblings, would disobey rules, would act out violently toward teachers and their mothers. Life Span's established Children's Counseling program, geared to younger children, was not suitable for teen boys, who needed a special approach to these issues.

Life Span's children's coordinator developed specialized services to address the problems experienced by teen boys. Together with a highly regarded therapist, she developed a program of group counseling sessions for teen boys to deal with the effects domestic violence has on their daily lives. The group helps kids recognize their own abusive behavior and its consequences, teaches them non-violent problem solving, and tries to instill in them a respect for others. The boys' mothers are also involved in the process, meeting as a group every third week. The mothers develop strategies for setting rules and limits, consistency in disciplining, and give each other support.

Much of the research on the causes of domestic violence points to the experience children raised in homes where abuse occurs: boys who see their fathers abuse their mothers are more likely to grow up to be domestic violence perpetrators themselves as they reach their adolescence. Domestic violence is a learned behavior which can be unlearned. Helping teens break the cycle of intergenerational domestic violence is an important component of a program whose goal is preventing domestic violence.

For more information on the Teen Boys' Group, please call Life Span at: 847/824-0382.