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Identify cues and warning signs that your
abuser may exhibit prior to becoming violent.
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Pack a small bag or suitcase and store it at a neighbor's,
friend's, other family, or in a hiding place in case you have to leave.
(Clothing for yourself and children, personal articles, toys, medicine,
etc.)
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Make an extra set of car keys and house keys and hide them somewhere other than in your purse.
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Collect documents such as a
copy of the lease or title to the house and car, birth certificates and
social security numbers for yourself and your children, marriage license
or divorce decree, insurance papers, passport, green card or visa.
Have
copies of any Order of Protection and other court papers such as custody
papers.
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Have access to (if possible)
Public Aid ID, health insurance cards, credit cards, blank checks and bank
books. Spare cash would be extremely helpful.
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Prepare a
list of important
phone numbers like Life Span's crisis line numbers, shelters, friends and
family. Hide this list where you will have access to it.
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Avoid using cellular or
cordless phones as they are easily picked up on a scanner. Use someone
else's phone or a pay phone to make calls that must be kept confidential.
Add a password to your voicemail and answering machine.
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Set up a call-for-help signal
with your neighbors, coworkers or family. It can be as simple as turning
on a certain light in your home. You can also call a neighbor or friend
every day at a certain time, or have them call you.
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Home security is very
important. Consider changing the locks on your doors. You might add extra
"alarms" - something as simple as stacking empty cans in front of the door
or under the windows. Keep doors and windows locked whether you are home
or away.
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When at home,
never
automatically open the door at the first knock. If you have children,
install a second lock high on the door so they cannot reach it.
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Alert others to gain their
assistance in providing safety and protection. Tell your employer that
your Order of Protection restrains your abuser from calling you at work or
coming to the office. If you live in an apartment, give a picture of your
abuser to the neighbors, manager or building security and tell them to
call the police if they see him on or around the property.
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Alert your children's day care
or school that your Order of Protection restrains your abuser from taking
the child(ren) from school. You should also give them a copy of the Order.
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Car safety is also important.
Always check the front and rear passenger areas before entering the car
whether it is day or night and then lock the car doors as soon as you are
in the car.
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If possible,
do not walk alone
and only park in well-lit areas. Be alert for vehicles following you.
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Try to
vary the times you
leave for work and come home. Change your routes to work, school, and
shopping. Let others know where you are going and when you expect to
arrive.
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If you receive harassing calls from your abuser,
notify the police and
insist on making a report. Keep a record of the date, time, and content of
the calls. You may be able to change your phone number to an unlisted
number. Tell family, friends, and co-workers they are not to give the new
number to anyone.
