Am I Really Abused?

Victims who feel trapped in unhappy relationships wonder if they are actually abused.  Frequently, they call and ask us if their situations are "bad enough" to qualify as abuse.  Our answer is always the same..."If you are asking whether or not you really are a victim, you probably are."

It is important to remember that abuse covers a huge range of behaviors which can include verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical harm.  You do not have to have visible marks or permanent injuries to be abused.

This list offers examples of the kinds of behavior that characterize the various types of abuse.

• Pushes or shoves you. Slaps or hits you.
• Pulls your hair.
• Kicks or punches you.
• Restrains you with force.
• Chokes you.
• Throws objects at you.
• Abandons you in a dangerous place.
  
  

• Ignores your feelings.
• Withholds approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment.
• Continually criticizes you, calls you names, shouts at you.
• Makes all decisions for you.
• Wants to control all your actions.
• Humiliates you in public or private.
• Ridicules your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, or heritage.
• Manipulates you with lies and contradictions.
• Subjects you to reckless driving.
• Cyber stalks your online activities.
• Monitors your daily activities; possibly using electronic surveillance tools.
• Leaves harassing or threatening messages on your cell phone.
• Sends you constant streams of cell phone text messages.
  
  

• Makes demeaning remarks about your gender.
• Calls you sexual names.
• Forces you to take off your clothing.
• Touches you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable.
• Treats you and members of your gender as objects.
• Insists you dress in a more sexual way than you want to dress.
• Minimizes the importance of your feelings about sex.
• Accuses you of sexual activity with others.
• Requires you to respond to sexual demands even when it makes you uncomfortable.