Children's Emotional Reactions to Domestic Violence

Remember that every child has different coping mechanisms and will react differently to the violence. The following is a list of some common identified feelings of children who have witnessed violence.

Fear - of violence, of father (sometimes generalized to all men), of abandonment, of night-time (when violence may have occurred), of upheaval and loss of family, of physical harm, of expressing feelings.

Anger - at father (for the violence), at mother (for not being able to stop the violence), at self (for not being able to protect mother).

Guilt - feels responsible for violence, for being "disloyal" to father/family, for having negative feelings about one or both parents (messages from church, society that you must love parents).

Confusion - who's responsible for care-giving? Conflict over feelings towards parents, unpredictable reactions from adults, child is unable to trust, belief that relationship equals violence.

Powerlessness - to change things, for not being able to "fix" the family

Shame - for being part of a defective family